


Aeipathy

by graciecoco162



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Dark Mark (Harry Potter), Death Eaters, Depression, Developing Relationship, Drug Use, F/M, Gryffindor, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Slytherin, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:02:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29521281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graciecoco162/pseuds/graciecoco162
Summary: "You fancy me.""Yes.""But you love her."Aeipathy - an enduring and consuming passion8th Year Dramione AUAll the Slytherin students are out of money and back at Hogwarts after giving up their family fortunes to avoid time in Azkaban post-war. Draco comes up with a clever, but illegal, way to help everyone make money, and Hermione somehow gets wrapped up in it.NOT FOR READERS UNDER THE AGE OF 18. Depictions of drug & alcohol abuse, sexual encounters, etc. If you don't enjoy reading those types of stories or if you are under the age of 18, please don't read!
Relationships: Draco Malfoy & Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy/Pansy Parkinson, Hermione Granger & Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger/Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson/Blaise Zabini
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please take heed of the warning that is in the story summary.  
> NOT FOR READERS UNDER THE AGE OF 18.  
> Depictions of drug and alcohol abuse, sexual encounters, non-consensual sex, etc.  
> I will not be adding tw's to the beginnings of each chapter, so if you don't enjoy reading those types of stories or if you are under the age of 18, please don't read!  
> If you DO like reading those types of stories AND are over the age of 18... Please read away.  
> I hope you enjoy!

May 2, 1998: Hermione’s POV

Dry blood caked Hermione’s hair and face like a helmet; whether it was her own or not, she did not know. She was also covered in a blanket of ash and soot. She reckons she was knocked out by something, but couldn’t remember what. Things had gone very black and very silent. It was almost peaceful. For about five minutes.

She laid in the middle of an arbitrary corridor somewhere in the maze that was Hogwarts. Or rather, what was left of Hogwarts. Hogwarts was now a ruin of its former glory. She slowly opened her crusted and blood shot eyes taking in her surroundings. 

The castle hallways were in shambles. Stone crumbling down every corner, paintings destroyed and trampled, littering the ash filled floors. Dead bodies thrown everywhere. Blurred figures of dueling witches and wizards passed by in the distance, and she could hear distorted screams. But Hermione couldn’t move. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t do anything. She thought back to what happened, but came up blank. She didn’t remember being stunned, but of course it was possible. She laid there in the middle of the floor while jets of all different colored hexes flashed from across the hall, filling the room with life. Except for her of course. 

It was almost as if she were invisible. She wished she were invisible. 

“This is where I am going to die,” she thought to herself. Would that really be the worst thing though? Dying didn’t seem half bad at the moment. She was tired of fighting, and tired of feeling this way. If the others knew how often she felt like giving up, they’d want to kill her themselves.

Hermione felt an overwhelming sense of relief that she didn’t have to fight anymore. Tucked away safe in her quiet corridor. Her body was numb, which she mentally knew was a bad sign, but she paid it no mind. She simply basked in the feeling of nothingness. 

But the feeling of peace passed too quickly, and then she was trapped. Trapped in her own body. Trapped and unable to speak, or defend herself. What if an enemy found her like this? She’d be a goner. And they wouldn’t make it easy. She’d likely be captured and tortured. She was the “Golden Girl” after all. 

Hermione started to panic. Gryffindor bravery be damned. She attempted to thrash her arms and legs, scream, anything. All futile. All she was able to manage was a lone tear, trickling down her cheek until it dropped to the floor by her ear. 

Then Hermione heard something. She couldn’t make it out at first, and she couldn’t see anything directly coming towards her. Off of instinct she tried to reach for her wand, but with no luck. Then the sound grew louder as it got closer. And she knew exactly what it was. A hiss. A hiss only one type of snake could make. And it was the same snake, she now remembers, that she had been running from before being knocked out by an exploding wall. 

As the sound grew with every second, so too did her fear. Her heart started pounding in her chest until it was beating in time with the movement of the snake. The fear was now unbearable and overwhelming. Hermione wanted to end it right then and there. But all she could do was take one last look at the school she called home for so many years, and then close her eyes, and await Death’s sweet kiss. 

But it never came. 

Instead, a great slicing sound filled her ears.

And somehow, without even opening her eyes, she knew she had been saved. She knew the snake was dead. She could feel it, like Harry said he could. 

Hermione was slow to open her eyes. The weight of almost dying was still paralyzing her. Literally and figuratively. Then suddenly two cold, hard hands were grabbing her upper arms and shaking her back to life. 

“Granger. Let's not wait for the grass to grow. Get up. War’s not over yet.” 

Her eyelids shot open with disbelief at the voice responsible. And then she was staring into two smoke filled grey eyes.

Malfoy. 

\---

Four Months Later: Hermione’s POV

Hermione’s eighth year was, in a word, insufferable. Classes hadn’t even started yet and she already wanted to leave. Normally she loved school. She was the best, and she knew it. But this year was different. This year, she was different.

Not only were she being forced to share a dorm room with Draco Malfoy, but it seemed the after effects of war were affecting Hermione more than anyone else. She couldn’t sleep or eat. She was anxious all the time. Always looking over her shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop. They had won the war four months ago, but it was still so fresh. Something felt off. Hermione thought she’d be better by now. But she wasn’t. Not by a long shot. 

\---

“Take a chill pill you incessant witch,” Malfoy spat at her, “It’s the first day of classes, shouldn’t you be jumping for joy or something?” Malfoy walked through the open door of the bathroom with only pyjama pants on. His former dark mark on display as he brushed his teeth, glaring at her in the process. 

“Exactly. It’s the first day of classes and I was kept up all night by you and your much-too-loud girlfriend!” Hermione couldn’t help but blush as the memories of Pansy’s screams filled her ears. She really was awfully loud. She didn’t know if that said more about her, or Malfoy. 

But the truth was, she didn’t mind being kept up all night. Truthfully she hadn’t slept soundly in months. Everytime she fell asleep, she’d go back to that day. That moment. Where she was trapped and couldn’t move. It scared her even more than it did that day. Muggles call it sleep paralysis. 

“Just because you’re not getting any, doesn’t mean you have to make me feel bad about it.” Malfoy said through a mouth full of toothpaste.

“And who said I wasn’t getting any, you twat?” 

The truth was, she wasn't. But not for lack of trying. She had been trying to seduce Ron for months, with no luck. Before the war, she thought her and Ron had something between them. A little spark of chemistry. She wasn't sure she wanted a relationship, but she was definitely attracted to him. Yes he was her best friend, but fuck it. She had been through a bloody war. It's about time she lost her virginity. She just needed to feel something. Anything. Her life after the war had been a black hole. Constantly searching. For what, she didn't know. She just... needed... something.

And Ron apparently didn’t. Wasn’t that the man’s job? Didn’t they stay in a constant state of horniness all the time? Everytime Hermione tried something, he’d shut her down. Perhaps the war had had an effect on him too, but Hermione was too busy with her own problems to question Ron’s. 

“Please,” Malfoy drolled, breaking Hermione from her thoughts, “I’ve never heard you. Besides, you’re too much of a prude to do anything of the sort.” He started to make his way out of the bathroom and back towards his bedroom. He attempted to shut the door but Hermione was quicker. She slapped her palm on the doorframe, blocking it. 

“You don’t know anything about me Malfoy,” she snapped, suddenly getting angry at the insinuation. “So back off.” If he was surprised by her bravery, he didn’t show it. His face held no emotions as he stared down into her honey colored eyes. 

“I know enough.” He then slammed the door shut, almost taking her hand with it. 

\---

Hermione and Draco had been chosen as head boy and head girl for obvious reasons. 

Hermione was the Golden Girl. Perfect marks in all her classes, and one third of the Golden Trio who saved the wizarding world. It was all bollocks in her opinion. She was nowhere near the girl she was before. Simply a shell of who she once was, held together by pick-me-up spells and muggle pain relievers. But no one else knew that. 

And Draco was altogether just as complicated as she was. Former death eater, turned war hero. It was quite the headline following the final battle. Dragon Slays The Snake read the front page of The Prophet. But what no one could figure out, not even Hermione, was why he did it. 

“Didn’t really fancy dying anytime soon.” Was his only answer he had given Hermione in the months that followed him saving her life. Which still didn’t make any sense. His side was winning. They most definitely would have won had it not been for Draco. 

Hermione pondered this as she slowly got dressed for the day. Classes started in about 30 minutes, so if she skipped breakfast she still had a little bit of time to do what she did every morning. Get high. 

Since the war ended, she had picked up the habit of taking muggle pain killers, which she stole from her parents. Her parents who were now dead. But that’s another story. After the final battle, she had a number of injuries that needed to be cured. And while the healers fixed her up within a matter of days, the pain still lingered. But not a regular pain. No. Her physical body couldn’t feel anything. No pain. No emotions. Only darkness. Emptiness. And that’s why she started taking the pills. So she could feel… something. 

She slipped the little blue pill in her mouth as she slipped on her robes. She looked in the mirror and took in her frazzled appearance. She wore her old robe from sixth year with a white jumper and a black miniskirt underneath. Her hair was tied up in some awful excuse for a bun, and the shoelaces on her black high top converse were untied. She didn’t quite care what people thought of her appearance as of late. The old Hermione had been so put together all the time. It was nice not giving a damn. Gryffindor’s princess my arse. 

She walked through her bedroom door with about 5 minutes left to get to class. She stalked to the door of the dorm ready to leave when a voice made her jump.

“Hermione Granger going to be late on the first day? I might just fall over in surprise.” Malfoy’s voice came from the couch in the little common area they shared in the dorm. Hermione spun around to glare at him, his smirk waiting for her. 

“I’m full of surprises,” Hermione drolled, rolling her eyes. “And shouldn’t you be off to class as well? Death eaters can’t afford to be late to class now can they?” Draco was on his feet within seconds, stalking toward her with a purpose. His grey eyes bore holes into hers, and she probably would’ve dropped dead right there, if looks could kill. He closed the space between them, leaving only an inch of air between them. 

“I’m. Not. A death eater. Not anymore,” He spat. Literal spit hit Hermione’s face with how close in proximity they were. “But I can still act like one. You’ll do well to remember that.” 

Hermione scoffed, turning away from his hypnotizing gaze, and walked out the door. 

She didn't know why she still held a grudge against Malfoy. He had saved her life for Godrick's sake. But something about him just got under her skin and made her crazy. Ever since they started living together, their bickering was non stop. She was too messy. Him and Pansy were too loud. She took too long in the bathroom. He left the fridge open. It was an endless cycle of arguments. But deep down, it was one of the only things keeping Hermione going.

\---

Hermione sat in her first class of the day, Potions. It was odd not having Professor Snape there. In fact, it was odd being there at all. It seemed like Hermione and all her classmates had left this life behind. And were now being forced to go back to a different version of themselves. 

Her and her classmates had been forced to return to Hogwarts to pass their NEWTS if they ever hoped to find a job in the future. A bit insensitive if you asked Hermione. But who cares about a bunch of teenagers who fought in a war, right?

Even the Slytherins were forced to come back. Well, the ones who could afford it. All students that supported Voldemort during the war were given the choice to give up their family fortunes to the Ministry, or do time in Azkaban. For the ones who could afford it, like Draco, Pansy, Blaise and Theo, it was an easy choice. But for the unlucky few whose fortunes weren’t large enough, they were now in Azkaban, serving out their sentences. 

The only person they let have a free pass was Harry. He wasn’t required to come back to Hogwarts like the rest of them. He went straight to auror training. She heard from him every once in a while, but the letters were very few and far between. She assumed he, like her, was trying to forget. And she didn’t blame him for that. 

She left potions now feeling the full effects of her little blue friend. She stumbled down the hall to the defense against the dark arts classroom, a class she had with Ron, Draco, and Pansy. Lovely. 

“Well don’t you look like a ray of bloody sunshine Granger.” Pansy’s voice slipped in one ear and out the other as Hermione took her seat a few chairs away. She was much too high to respond to Pansy’s childish insults. 

Ron filed in behind Pansy and Draco, shooting them a quick glare before taking his seat next to Hermione.

“She may be a bitch but she’s not wrong,” started Ron, “You look bloody awful Mione. No offense” 

“Thanks Ronald,” Hermione rolled her eyes. “I’m just tired that’s all. And I didn’t have time for breakfast.” 

“Hello class, today we’re going to be learning a few new disarming spells,” Bill Weasley’s voice filled the class before Ron could respond, “and I’m going to split you up into pairs.” 

When McGonagall asked Bill to be the new DADA teacher, he couldn’t refuse, much to Ron’s liking. 

Before sorting them into pairs, Bill passed by Hermione and whispered,

“Sorry, can’t choose favorites.”

\---

She hadn't known what he meant until he sat her with her new partner.

Hermione reluctantly sat next to her new partner Draco, haphazardly watching Bill demonstrate the spells. Draco had been openly and unashamedly staring at Hermione for well over two minutes now while tapping his wand against his thigh. Hermione hadn’t cared at first, but now she was getting irritated. 

“Do you have a problem?” She spat.

“Are you high?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! I just wanted to ask you guys a huge favor... If you are enjoying the story so far, please go follow my TikTok where I'll be promoting my story and some of my other favorite Dramione fanfics!  
> The username is the same as this one: graciecoco162  
> I would really appreciate a follow and would love the opportunity to interact with my readers! 
> 
> Also, please no hate in the comments. This is my first Dramione fanfiction that I have ever written, so I'm trying my best. 
> 
> It is also only my second time writing a fanfiction at all. (I was obsessed with 5sos back in 2014 haha, the writing is very cringe so I do not recommend trying to read that one) So I am still very new to writing! 
> 
> I will however accept constructive criticism from fellow fanfiction readers and writers. So if you have any (helpful) suggestions, please feel free to comment!
> 
> I have been reading Dramione fanfiction for about 6 months now, and I'm obsessed. I had this idea a few weeks ago, and really wanted to see it come to life. Thank you guys so much for the kudos, bookmarks and hits! (However few there may be). I appreciate them so much!
> 
> Happy reading :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changed my mind about the tw's.  
> Warning: sexual content in this chapter

Draco’s POV

There was something off about her, Draco knew that for a fact. But what, he didn’t know for sure. He studied her the first few minutes of class after getting paired up together. He was very obviously staring at her. He didn’t care though. She sat leaned back in her chair as far as it could go, seemingly paying no attention to the lecture at all. In years past, she’d be practically jumping out of her seat to answer questions. So what was different? 

He was glad for the change nevertheless, her incessant need to be right all the time used to drive him mad. But there was always something about her that intrigued him, much to his disliking. Now, he was even more intrigued. 

Not only was she acting different, but she looked different. Draco caught himself raking his eyes up and down her body.. She looked messy and disheveled. But at the same time, kind of hot. He never thought he’d use that adjective to describe Hermione Granger. She wore a skirt much shorter than the dress code permits, and her hair was a mess, which really wasn’t anything new. Granger’s hair had always caught his attention. He wondered what it would be like to run his ring clad fingers through her wild curls. What she would taste like. What she would feel like clenched around him. He used to hate himself for the way he would often think about Granger. In class, when he was with Pansy, in the shower. He was supposed to hate her. She was nothing. A filthy mudblood. But ever since that day with the snake, he felt differently. He was no longer ashamed of the way he felt, just… curious. 

But of course he was with Pansy. Well, not exactly with her, but fucking her. Even though everybody else thought they were dating. That’s the way Pansy liked it. Pansy got the job done, and that’s all that mattered. He didn’t feel particularly emotionally connected to her, but then again he didn’t feel that way with anyone. Wouldn’t allow himself to. But Merlin did she know her way around a cock. She was fantastic with her mouth. And she loved to make him feel good. And that was enough for him. He did care about her though, for more than just a quick fuck. She was his friend.

He snapped back to reality after Professor Weaselbee said something to the class, and he studied Granger’s face even closer. She looked fairly normal. But then he saw her eyes. 

Are her eyes bloodshot? He thought to himself, narrowing his eyes in her direction. The honey color of her irises was intact, but the whites of her eyes were glassy and red. No. It couldn’t be. In no way, shape or form was Hermione Granger on drugs. There’s no way she’s changed that much. Drugs were his thing. Ever since the war ended, he’d been high on muggle marijuana every single day. It was getting to the point where it wasn’t working as well anymore. And that was a scary thought. 

The truth was, he was suffering. He was damn good at hiding it, but he was. All of his choices that he made leading up to the war chewed away at him every single day. And he could chop the heads off of a thousand magical snakes, but it would never be enough to clear his conscience. So he smoked to take the pain away. The constant ache that was nagging at him, went away for a little while when he was high. He smoked so he didn’t have to feel.

Her voice suddenly jolted him out of his concentration.

“Do you have a problem?” She spat, turning around to face him. He supposed he did. 

“Are you high?” He questioned. She was taken aback, he could tell. She spluttered for a reply. 

“What?” She finally managed to spit out, looking at him like he was mental. 

“I said, are you high?” 

“No! Why would you say that?” She asked defensively. He shrugged nonchalantly in response. 

“Mm I don’t know, maybe the different personality or the bloodshot eyes?” She looked at him like she wanted to scream at him, but then huffed and turned back towards the front of the room.

“What I do in my free time is none of your concern Malfoy, so lay off it.” 

Now it was Draco’s turn to be taken aback. What the fuck? She was going to give in just like that? Their bickering always went back and forth longer than that. So she really was high? Who the fuck was this girl and what did she do with Hermione Granger? 

\---

Draco sat at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall for lunch surrounded by Pansy, Blaise and Theo. Pansy with her sleek, black shoulder length hair and her scrunched up nose. She really was beautiful, in a pompous kind of way. She was chatting incessantly like she always did. Theo and Blaise didn’t seem to mind though as they hung on her every word. They were both head over heels for her, he could tell. Or they just really wanted to get her in the sack. Either way, Draco wasn't worried. She had been obsessed with him since first year, she wasn’t going anywhere. He normally tuned out their conversations in favor of silence, but something caught his ear.

“Something is seriously up with Granger,” said Pansy, “She’s acting less annoying than usual.”

“Yeah I noticed that too!” Said Theo, “I had potions with her first period and she didn’t raise her hand once.” 

“That’s odd,” said Blaise, “School was her whole personality, what is she to do now?” They all snickered at that one.

“Draco you were paired up with her today, did she say anything to you?” Pansy’s voice brought him out of his trance. Should he tell them about her being high? On one hand he really didn’t care. But on the other, it felt like a secret he needed to keep. Just for him to know. He knew something about Hermione Granger that nobody else did, and he liked that. 

“Nah,” he shrugged, “But she was definitely less mental today than normal.” They all laughed, and the conversation changed directions. 

“I’m so tired of this shite man,” started Blaise, throwing his hands up in frustration, “All my professors are giving me detention because I don’t have any of my assigned textbooks. How am I supposed to buy my books with no money?” 

“Ugh, tell me about it,” Pansy murmured, “I’ve had to start buying the generic brand of all my makeup.” Draco and the other two boys all rolled their eyes at that one. 

“Oh get over it Pans, you’ll live” Drawled Draco. 

“Easy for you to say!” She spat, “Because of your last minute heroics, you only had to give up a fraction of what we did!” 

“She’s right mate,” Started Theo, “We’ve got to find a way to start making money.”

\---

Later that night, Draco snuck Pansy into his room again. If she was offering, he was going to accept every time. He was a man after all, he couldn’t help it. 

He pulled her behind him, tip-toeing into his room and bringing the door closed behind them with a click. He spun around to look at her, grabbing her by the hips and pulling her close. He looked behind her and cast a wandless muffliato. Don’t need anymore complaints from Granger.

“Well now that you’ve got me here, what are you going to do with me?” Pansy whispered coyly, slowly and seductively reaching up to unbutton her blouse. He grabbed her wrist to still her movements, and she looked at him through her lashes questioningly. He smirked back at her. 

“I’m gonna make you cry with my cock in your mouth.” He said straight faced. He let go of her wrists to pull off his shirt and unbuckle his trousers, until he stood before her in only his boxers. She looked at him with wide eyes as though he had caught her off guard, as his trousers dropped to the floor. 

“On your knees.” He spat, shoving her down with his right hand and holding his half-hard cock through his boxers with his left. 

“Draco-” she started to resist and he cut her off.

“I said,” he paused, licking his lips, “On. Your. Knees.” 

She hesitated, but eventually gave in. Sex gave Draco the power he craved in everyday life. Out there, he couldn’t step a toe out of line without going to Azkaban. He lived his life knowing his power could be taken away at any moment. But in the bedroom, he could take it all back. And he did. Over and over and over again. 

On her knees before him, she pulled down his boxers achingly slow. His now fully hard cock slapped against his stomach as she finally pulled them all the way down. Not waiting another moment, she licked one big swipe all the way up his cock, pausing at the top to swirl the tip with her tongue.

"Fuck." Moaned Draco.

She brought her lips away for a split second to push him backwards until he was sitting legs open on the edge of his bed. As soon as she was situated between his knees, she took his cock in her mouth without missing a beat. She bobbed her head at an excruciatingly slow pace, taking almost all of him inside her throat. He rolled his eyes to the back of his head at the feeling. It was fantastic. But torturous at the same time. The pressure inside him was building at an agonizing pace, with nowhere to go. He started to lift his hips to meet her throat, increasing her pace and fucking her mouth from below. It felt glorious. But seconds after it started, it abruptly stopped. She sat back on her heels staring up at him playfully, wiping her mouth with her thumb. 

“The fuck are you doing?” He questioned, gesturing to his throbbing member. 

“I want to see you do it.” She purred. 

“What?” 

“I want… to see… you do it.” She crawled towards him on all fours with every pause of her words. It took him a moment, but then he realized what she meant. She needed some power of her own.

Fuck.

He might have been surprised, but he couldn’t show her that. 

“Oh yeah?” He said, grabbing his cock at the base and looking down at her through his lashes. “You like it when I get off for you?” She nodded eagerly, bending down to plant kisses on his thighs as he pumped himself. The delicate touch made him shiver. And he never thought he’d be so turned on by her watching him get himself off. 

He pumped himself at a frantic pace, his thighs starting to tremble. His head rolled back along with his eyes. He was gonna make himself cum like this. She must have noticed he was close, as she put her hands over his to take over the pace. With every up and down motion, Draco was closer and closer to his release. He could feel it building from his toes all the way up into his head until he was ready to explode. He needed to take his power back. Now. 

He swatted her hands away and grabbed a fistful of her hair at the base of her skull. Without warning he shoved her head down on top of him, forcing her to take all of him into her throat. She gagged a little, but soon got used to the pace. Draco let out a low guttural moan and she hummed in response, the vibrations making Draco’s head spin. "That's a good girl," Draco cooed, "Now look at me." She looked up at him through her lashes while she continued sucking him off. Fuck. He couldn’t help it anymore. He used his grip on her hair to pick her head up and down at a swift pace, while moving his hips up to meet her. Fucking her mouth to his breaking point. 

“Fuck.” He moaned, dropping his head to his chest. “Feels so fucking good Pans.” She hummed again after a few more strokes, bringing his climax forward with a deep groan. He emptied his load down her throat, relishing in the feeling.

He slowly pulled her head off his length, letting her fully breathe for the first time in minutes. There were tears streaking down her cheeks. 

“Told you I was gonna make you cry.” He said cheekily, laying back against his elbows for support. She swatted his arm playfully. 

“I just wish you would’ve let me take my clothes off first,” she started, “it’s bloody hot in here.” 

“No need now, is there.” He said, leaning back to rest his head against his pillows. She hit him again.

“Don’t you want to see me naked?” She said as she stood up, cheekily raising up her skirt. 

“If I see anything I haven’t seen before, I’ll throw a dollar at it.” He said, jeering to himself.

“What?” She asked, crossing her arms in defense.

“Never mind,” he started, still laughing, “It’s a muggle saying.” Then the realization hit him. 

“Oh my God.” He said, sitting straight up in bed, ideas swimming behind his eyes.

“What is it?” She asked, coming to sit next to him in bed. 

“I know how we’re gonna start making money.”

\---

“Draco slow down!” Pansy whined from behind him. He was now dragging her down to the dungeons with him. They needed to have a chat with Theo and Blaise. 

Once they reached the entrance to the Slytherin common room, Draco practically yelled the password, and burst inside with excitement. He needed this. He needed something good in his life. Something to help him forget all the horrible mistakes he’d made in the past. Something to take his mind off of things. Something to help him have fun. And even though he technically didn’t need the money, his friends did. It was a win-win. If he could get Pansy and the others to agree, all his problems would be solved. Well, not all. But some. And that was better than none.

\---

“Okay so explain it to me again?” Said Theo, sitting upright in his bed and rubbing his hands through his hair after being abruptly woken up. 

“It’s called a strip club,” Started Draco with stars in his eyes, “Or a burlesque show, or a sex club. We can make it whatever we want it to be.” 

“It’s a muggle club where girls get on stage half naked and dance, and they can do private shows and things like that. And people pay hundreds of pounds to watch, but in our case it would be galleons.” 

“And how do you know about these clubs?” Questioned Blaise.

“I had to occupy my time somehow this summer.” Draco shrugged. Pansy swatted his arm.

“You complete arse.” She scoffed, “What, are you getting a little shagging on the side as well? I know we’re not exclusive but shite.” 

“Oh come off it Pans,” Draco drawled.

“And who would we get to be in the show?” Blaise asked, bringing Draco’s attention back to the task at hand.  
“Well I was thinking some other girls from Slytherin would be interested, seeing as they're in the same boat as you lot with money,” Draco started, silently dreading the next part of his sentence. “But I was thinking Pansy could be our main act.” He closed his eyes, waiting for Pansy to curse him. Or slap him. Or both. 

“It’s brilliant.” She stated simply. Draco’s eyes shot open and all three of the boys’ mouths hung wide open, staring at Pansy in disbelief.

“What? Did you think I’d be some kind of prude about it?” Pansy started, “I know for a fact almost every boy out there would pay a fortune to see me strip for them. It’s brilliant.” 

“Well… alright. It’s settled then,” Draco said matter-of-factly, “Are you boys in or not?”

“Fuck yeah I’m in,” said Theo, “I’d be a bloody idiot not to be.”

“Same here,” said Blaise contemplating, “But how would the money work?” 

“Glad you asked, Blaise.” Draco smirked.

“Us three would sell tickets to the show, that’s how people would get in. And then we’ll have a bar stocked with Firewhiskey and Butter Beers for people to buy from. But the majority of the money coming in would be from tips the girls get. Which is why they will be giving ten percent of their tips to us for providing the location, drinks and the initial idea. And we split all of our proceeds equally between the three of us.”

“Woah woah woah, I’m not sharing my tips.” Stated Pansy with her arms crossed over her chest. 

“Fine then you’re out,” stated Draco simply, “We can find someone to replace you.” They stared at each other hotly for a good thirty seconds before she faltered, and eventually conceded.

“Fine,” She huffed, “But how are we gonna get the drinks for the bar?”

“That’s where I come in,” said Theo matter-of-factly, puffing his chest up, “I have a second cousin who works at The Three Broomsticks and he can get it to us at a discounted price.”

“Yes, but we have to be careful,” said Draco intently, “None of this is legal, so we can’t be caught.”

“Even better,” said Blaise, “I need a bit of fun. So when do we start?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! I just wanted to ask you guys a huge favor... If you are enjoying the story so far, please go follow my TikTok where I'll be promoting my story and some of my other favorite Dramione fanfics!  
> The username is the same as this one: graciecoco162  
> I would really appreciate a follow and would love the opportunity to interact with my readers! 
> 
> Also, please no hate in the comments. This is my first Dramione fanfiction that I have ever written, so I'm trying my best. 
> 
> It is also only my second time writing a fanfiction at all. (I was obsessed with 5sos back in 2014 haha, the writing is very cringe so I do not recommend trying to read that one) So I am still very new to writing! 
> 
> I will however accept constructive criticism from fellow fanfiction readers and writers. So if you have any (helpful) suggestions, please feel free to comment!
> 
> I have been reading Dramione fanfiction for about 6 months now, and I'm obsessed. I had this idea a few weeks ago, and really wanted to see it come to life. Thank you guys so much for the kudos, bookmarks and hits! (However few there may be). I appreciate them so much!
> 
> Happy reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

“Will you please just do it for me Mione?”

“No Ronald! I told you I’d help you with it, but I am not going to do it for you!”

Hermione and Ron sat on the couch in the common room of Hermione and Draco’s dorm. Hermione had been helping Ron with an essay for muggle studies, but Hermione had other plans. All day Hermione had been walking around school numb. In the classrooms where she used to feel her most at home, she found herself falling asleep. Falling. Asleep. Hermione Granger falling asleep in class. She was a stranger to herself. And there was nothing she could do about it. 

She needed a change. She needed to feel something. And she knew what she had to do in order to get it. A part of Hermione was humiliated that she had to go to these lengths. She shouldn’t have to beg for a man’s attention. But yet here she was, about to do just that. 

“Is Malfoy here?” Ron said while feigning a disgusted look. 

“No, he just left with Pansy.”

“I don’t know how you live with him.” Ron started, “One of us would have already been expelled if it were me. Maybe even dead”

“He’s not that bad,” Hermione started, but backtracked after seeing the look Ron shot at her, “We do fight a lot though.” 

“I don’t like the idea of him in the room right next to yours. Gives me the bloody creeps. He better not get any ideas.” Hermione rolled her eyes.

“Did you not just hear me Ronald? He’s with Pansy. Plus I’m sure the idea of living with me repulses him as well.” 

“Still. I don’t like that git.” Ron went to pack up his quill and parchment, seemingly getting ready to leave. 

“Well I don’t like him either,” Hermione started, seeing her chance swiftly dwindling, “I like someone else.” Her heart was beating out of her chest at this point, wanting to give up before she even started. But she resisted the urge. She needed this. 

“Oh yeah? And who is tha-'' He faltered as she reached down to grip his forearm, stopping him from packing up his things. She wanted him to get the message without being too forward. Because Hermione Granger was no beggar. Not yet anyway. 

“Mione-” He went to cut her off but there was no going back now. She was gonna get it all out in the open. 

“No, please let me talk. Ever since the war, I’ve been... struggling... a bit. And before, I thought we might have had something. And I’m attracted to you, so I don’t know why we can't just…ugh I don't know. Please don’t let me keep rambling. Say something Ronald, please.” 

She dropped her head to her chest and stared at her shoes, not daring to look at him. The silence was like a constant ringing in Hermione’s ears. The fear of rejection lingering in the air like a fog of smoke. She almost wanted to cough from the heaviness of it. She wrung her hands over and over, incapable of sitting still. 

“Hermione I can’t.” A brick wall. That’s what it felt like. Every semblance of hope, excitement, fear, really any emotion at all. She felt every ounce of it smacked out of her body by the brick wall that was Ron’s rejection. 

“I can’t be the one to put you back together.” She finally looked up at this. 

“What?” 

“You think I don’t know that you’re struggling? Of course I do, I’m your best friend. I’m not that stupid. I mean bloody hell, you almost fell asleep today in defense against the dark arts. I’ve been worried about you. So I’ve been trying to help in the only way that I can… as a friend.” 

She thought over his words, soaking them in. He had been hanging out with her almost every day. And he had been strangely nice. With Harry gone, both of those facts should have told her something about him was different. But of course her damage had clouded everything, keeping her from noticing. But what she still didn’t understand was why his feelings had changed from before the war, to now? Something still didn’t add up.

“But-”

“I fancy someone else.” 

And there it was. The missing piece of the puzzle. The piece that had the power to send her over the edge completely. The old Hermione normally loved finishing puzzles. But this was the one puzzle she wished she never figured out. 

“Oh.” Was all she could manage. 

“Yeah.” Now it was his turn to wring his hands. He was obviously uncomfortable. And so was she. Incredibly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She questioned, finally looking up at him. He scoffed.

“Are you joking? You’ve been hanging on by a thread as it is.” 

“You don’t have to treat me like I’m going to break!” She was getting mad now, “Friends don’t keep secrets like this.”

“I just didn’t want to make you upset, that’s all.”

“Well now I am upset!” She stood up now, crossing her arms over her chest. “Where as if you would’ve just told me in the first place, I wouldn’t have been waiting around for you this whole time! Who is she?” 

“That’s not important Hermione.” He squeezed his temples between his fingers. 

“Yes it is! I-”

“No. It’s not. What is important is that you understand why.” Now he stood up to join her, circling around to grip the back of the couch. She paused for a moment, contemplating her next move, arms still crossed in front of her. 

“Enlighten me then.”

“We’re not meant for each other. I figured it out when we were on the run hunting horcruxes. You’re… you’re…” He paused, searching for his words.

“You’re brilliant Hermione. And you’re strong. And beautiful,” He looked at her with sad eyes. “And I’m… simple. I’m not the smartest wizard. I like food and quidditch, and that’s about it. I’m not enough for you. I can admit that now.” Her heart was breaking. But not for herself. For him.

“You are enough Ron! Why would you think that-”

“I’m not!” He cut her off, cutting his hand through the air with finality, “And I think you already know that.”

She hated to admit it, but she did. Despite her current want for him, she knew it wasn’t a long term fix for her emptiness. It was just a distraction. He was a distraction. And Ron didn’t deserve that. 

“Ron, I-” 

“I can’t be the one to put you back together Hermione. Only you can do that. I don’t know what’s wrong, and you don’t have to tell me. But just know that I’m here, as a friend.” 

She didn’t know what to say. He was right. About everything. For once, he was right and she was wrong. Without another word, Ron gave her a sad smile, grabbed his bag, and left. If she had felt empty before, she felt even worse now. The door closed behind him, and she turned to retreat to her bedroom to wallow in self pity when a voice made her jump.

“Well wasn’t that just pitiful.” Malfoy. She was going to wring his neck. She spun around to give him a look that could kill.

“When did you get back? How much of that did you hear?” 

“Enough.” He crossed his arms with a devilish grin across his face, glaring right back at Hermione. 

“You had no right to eavesdrop! What is your problem?” She stalked towards him, pointing a finger directly in his chest.

“First off, don’t touch me.” He spat, swatting her hand away. “And second off, I wasn’t eavesdropping. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Well next time, how about announcing yourself? Or perhaps just buggering off!” She turned around, ready to slam her bedroom door behind her and never come out. 

“So what drug is it you’re on?” She stopped midstep. 

She’d almost forgotten about their little run in at class that morning. Choices flicked through Hermione’s mind like flash cards. She had no idea how to talk her way out of this one. There were so many answers she could give him, but none of them seemed to be the right ones. There was always the old reliable deny deny deny. Or the truth. Nope. Definitely not the truth. Deflection? Yeah that seemed like the right way to go. 

“Why do you care? And why is it any of your business?” She spun around to look at him quizzically. 

“I like to be privy on the well being of my flat mate.” He was leaning against the doorframe nonchalantly, seeming much too happy with himself. 

“Awe, careful Draco. Someone might actually think you care.” His first name rolled off her tongue without even thinking. She cringed internally, scolding herself for the slip.

“Ah see, if we’re to be on a first name basis then you simply have to tell me.” He started walking towards her now. Closer and closer with every step. Hermione felt the truth bubbling to the surface under the intensity of his stare. But she didn’t look away. She couldn’t.

“Is it weed?” No response from Hermione. He was still walking closer, but she stood still as stone so she wouldn’t give anything away. 

“Coke?” Hermione almost laughed at that one, rolling her eyes at his reach. Would telling him really be that bad? She hadn’t spoken honestly with anyone in months. Another step closer.

“Pills?” She shifted uncomfortably, looking away to break his trance-like stare. He stopped walking, only a step away from her.

“Ah so it is pills.” He sang, grinning way too much for her liking. “Interesting choice Granger.”

“Just… shut up. Okay?”

“But why pills?”

“I said shut up.”

“Why do drugs at all? Little miss perfect isn’t so perfect apparently.” He took another step achingly close to her.

“Stop.” She put a hand up in defense, but he was so close to her now that her palm was flat against his chest and she could feel his breath.

“No.”

Well here goes nothing.

“They make me feel! Okay?”

“What?”

“I… ugh. Ever since the war I’ve been… different.”

“Obviously,” he drawled, “Go on.” 

“It’s like… I’m empty inside. I can’t feel.” She couldn’t believe she was spilling her deepest shame to Draco Malfoy of all people. But she couldn’t stop now. It was like her inner conscience was sick and throwing her thoughts up everywhere. “And the pills help… A little.”

“You can’t feel anything?” Why did he seem so invested? Why did he care?

“Nothing.”

He stopped for a moment, seemingly taking in the new information. And then his eyes flew up to hers, and a smirk found his lips.

“I see. So that’s why you were practically throwing yourself at Weaselbee.”

“I was not throwing-”

“You were.”

“I was not!” She huffed, stomping her foot in frustration.

“You think sex is the answer.”

“No I-” 

“Perhaps it is.” She stopped. What does she even say back to that?

“Or perhaps,” He paused, “You have the wrong drug.”

“What?”

“Have you ever tried weed?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! I just wanted to ask you guys a huge favor... If you are enjoying the story so far, please go follow my TikTok where I'll be promoting my story and some of my other favorite Dramione fanfics!  
> The username is the same as this one: graciecoco162  
> I would really appreciate a follow and would love the opportunity to interact with my readers! 
> 
> Also, please no hate in the comments. This is my first Dramione fanfiction that I have ever written, so I'm trying my best. 
> 
> It is also only my second time writing a fanfiction at all. (I was obsessed with 5sos back in 2014 haha, the writing is very cringe so I do not recommend trying to read that one) So I am still very new to writing! 
> 
> I will however accept constructive criticism from fellow fanfiction readers and writers. So if you have any (helpful) suggestions, please feel free to comment!
> 
> I have been reading Dramione fanfiction for about 6 months now, and I'm obsessed. I had this idea a few weeks ago, and really wanted to see it come to life. Thank you guys so much for the kudos, bookmarks and hits! (However few there may be). I appreciate them so much!
> 
> Happy reading :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: drug and alcohol use

Draco POV

“What?” She stammered, hands still on her hips looking at him like he was crazy. 

She was kinda cute when she was mad. Her hair was frizzed out everywhere as if her anger was radiating through it. Although he didn’t show it, he was still in shock over the conversation they’d just had. And the conversations they’d have to come if she accepted his offer. Their arguments usually never led to anything but more arguments. He wasn’t sure if he liked it better that way or not. 

“Smoke with me,” He shrugged, “I bet you’ll like it better.” He side stepped past her, brushing their shoulders together in the process. It was like a jolt of electricity shooting through his arm at their contact. What was happening to him? 

Without another word or glance back at Granger, he stalked down the hallway to his bedroom, ready to spark up. Whether she joined him or not, that was her decision. She clearly needed it though. He entered his room and went straight for his dresser. He pulled out his pipe and little baggie of weed out of the top drawer, sat down on his bed and started packing. Then his door swung open and Hermione Granger was in his bedroom. 

“You smoke weed? Like, muggle marijuana?” She stood in the doorway with her arms crossed, still looking at him like he was crazy. She did that a lot. 

“As a matter of fact I do.” He said nonchalantly, not bothering to look up from his pipe. 

“How did I not know this?” She took a tentative step forward, raising an eyebrow at him. 

“Probably the same reason I didn’t know you took pills, Granger.” He finally looked up from his packing to see she was hovering by the bed, watching his hands move, “We don’t exactly tell each other much. Or really talk at all when we’re not arguing.”

“True I guess.” She uncrossed her arms and closed the final gap between them, sitting on the edge of the bed next to him. “So what is it you’re doing?”

“So you haven’t tried weed before.” He chuckled, not asking, but stating. “I’m packing a bowl. This is something you can smoke out of.”

“Interesting,” she paused, “So why ask me to smoke with you?” 

Why did he ask her? Part of it was pity he supposed, but she didn’t need to know that. Hermione Granger did not need his pity. And the other part… he wasn’t quite sure. Curiosity perhaps. Or perhaps there was a darker part of Draco that wanted to see her corrupted. Hurting and drug dependent, just like he was. 

There was something alluring about the thought of him being the first person she smoked with. Him being the reason her problems went away, if only for a little while. He had been the source of her problems for so many years, and he was intrigued with the potential of the opposite. 

He finished packing the bowl before looking up at her and shrugging. 

“You seem like you need it.” And although it wasn’t the whole truth, it was true.

“Why do you care what I need?” Salazar fuck she was difficult. She was making this whole helping her thing much harder than it needed to be.

“Fuck Granger,” He almost slammed the pipe down on the bed in frustration, “I’m a human being? I don’t know. Why can’t you just accept help? Is it because it’s from me?” And he knew it was.

“Yes! Okay?” She slammed her fists down onto the mattress, almost knocking the pipe from his hands, “You’re supposed to hate me.” 

She stared up at him, waiting for his response. But he didn’t know what to say. He knew what she was saying was valid, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. He had changed. He wasn’t the scared little boy he used to be. But then again, how is she to know that? He didn’t deserve for her to accept that he had changed. He bullied her for years, watched as she got tortured in his house. She didn’t owe him any acceptance. No, he definitely didn’t deserve any of this. Head boy, private room. He was so undeserving that Draco almost wanted to throw himself in Azkaban. 

But there was a reason he saved her that day. He had changed. Whether it was too little too late, that was for her to decide. But he didn’t want to hate her anymore. And for some reason, he didn’t want her to hate him either. 

“You may still see me as a death eater Hermione,” She scrunched her face in confusion at his use of her first name, “But I don’t hate you.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, but it felt like hours. Hermione was obviously contemplating on what to do next, contemplating how to digest their new narrative he had created. She didn’t look up at him once, but he never took his eyes off of her. 

“So how do we do this then?” She looked up at him then, and Draco swore there was a cosmic shift. The earth faltered on its axis for just a moment. He could feel it in the air, like a golden mist of acceptance surrounded them. He knew they were still far from having civility between them, but something was different. They had each chipped away at each other’s hard exteriors, allowing the light inside for the first time ever. 

And although Draco wanted to bask in the newness of it, alarm bells went off in his head. His inner self screamed danger. This was uncharted territory for the two of them, and he didn’t know how to handle that.

“Here, let me show you.”

Draco then put the pipe up to his lips, plugged the hole on the side, and lit the bud with the tip of his wand while inhaling sharply. He felt the warm burn of the smoke rush down his throat, stinging the insides of his throat in the process. The thick mist filled his lungs as he held his breath for a moment, and then slowly released it into the air like a chimney. It rolled off his tongue like waves. He felt his body physically relax within seconds, the sensations of the drug not taking long. He was far from being high, but just one taste had his worries beginning to fade. 

Normally he would take a few more hits before passing, but he relinquished the pipe to Hermione.

“Okay, like this?” she started to put the pipe up to her lips but paused, “Merlin, why am I nervous?” She chuckled loudly, bringing her free hand up to cover her mouth. And Draco thinks that was the first time he’d heard her laugh in ages. It was like a sweet melody in his head, and he wanted to play it over and over again. Her laugh was even more euphoric than the weed to him. Why? He didn’t know. But at this moment, he didn’t quite care. Maybe it was the fact that she was Hermione fucking Granger, and she was laughing for the first time in months, with him. 

“Salazar’s sake Granger just do it.” He found himself chuckling now. He stared at her in awe as her shoulders bounced up and down from her laughter, her hand still glued to her mouth. Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy, laughing together while sharing a pipe. That was one scene Draco could have never imagined, even in his wildest dreams. 

She finally silenced her laughter and brought the pipe up to her lips. He made sure that she plugged the hole on the side, and watched as the bud grew to life with the familiar red-orange glow. Her eyes went wide as she inhaled, then a second later removed the pipe from her lips. She held the smoke in far longer than Draco had anticipated. 

Shit. 

As if on cue, she started coughing uncontrollably, expelling the smoke with every heave. He thought she might be sick right then and there.

“Whoops, did I forget to mention the burn?” He smirked, chuckling again. She managed to shoot him a look of annoyance in between her coughing spurts. 

“Just breathe Granger.” He went to reach for her in support, but quickly snapped his arm back to his side before she could notice. Uncharted territory. 

Several seconds later she was able to slow her breathing and extend her arm out to pass the pipe back to Draco. He took several long drags off the pipe, blowing the smoke out in O’s. With every blissful inhale and exhale, he felt his pain and anxiety wither away a little bit more. 

He extended his hand out to offer her the pipe again, half expecting her to refuse. But she looked up and caught his eye for a moment, before looking away and carefully grabbing the pipe from him. 

“How do you do those O thingies?” She twirled her pointer finger in a circular motion, referencing the O’s he had just been blowing. 

“Lots of practice.” He replied, leaning back on his extended hands behind him, pressing into the mattress. She took another hit, this time with much more ease than the first. 

“How do you feel?” He asked, cocking his head to the side taking in her appearance through his lidded lashes. She finished taking a second hit before replying. 

“Fantastic.” She grinned back at him, simultaneously rolling her already hooded eyes back in unison with her head. He nodded in response, returning her smile with a slight upturn of his lips. 

She was swaying slightly, head still tilted back in ecstasy. She was high alright. Draco wishes he could go back to that tolerance level. Now he could smoke three times what he used to, and still not get high.

“So you do this everyday?” She asked, returning the pipe to him. 

“Mhm” He hummed, bringing the still burning pipe up to his lips. 

They continued their passing back and forth in silence. Draco couldn’t help but watch her. Her relaxed state was a stark contrast to her normally high strung self. Draco Malfoy, corrupting Hermione Granger over to the dark side. He snickered at the thought. 

By the time the pipe was cashed, Hermione looked completely stoned out of her mind. 

“You good, Granger?” He raised an eyebrow at her, and she nodded lazily in response. Draco was now high as well. Not near as high as he’d like to be, but high enough. He would smoke another bowl when Granger left. 

And then there was silence again. He thought she might leave, but she just sat there in complete silence, looking deep in thought. Then, she locked eyes with him. Her stare was blinding. Draco wanted to look away from the heaviness of the situation. Like he didn’t deserve to be invited into the eyes of the Golden Girl. They stared at each other for a few agonizing seconds that felt like eternity, before she spoke up, not taking her eyes off of his. 

“Why did you save me?” He almost choked. The weight behind her question was unbearable. 

His entire body stiffened, and long was forgotten the state of relaxation he had been in 30 seconds ago. She kept her eyes locked with his, and continued swaying slightly from the effects of the drug. It felt like she was staring down into his soul, searching for an answer she’d never get.

Bloody hell here we go. He knew he’d be in this position at some point, Granger was too damn curious not to ask questions. He was honestly surprised he’d made it this far without her questioning him further. He supposed he had the pills to thank for that. 

“I’m not high enough for this conversation Granger.” He replied, bringing his hand up to rub his temples. 

“Malfoy… please.” She pleaded, her voice soft. 

“I don’t know, okay?” he started, “I just did.”

“Not good enough.” She shook her head and stood up, her shadow hovering over him like an umbrella in the dimly lit room. He breathed out heavily in defeat, but quickly closed his mouth hoping to keep the answer from escaping. 

“You hated me. You bullied me. You stood by as I got tortured.” She stated as she waved her hand in the air at each point of emphasis. 

“That’s exactly why I did it!” He screamed in frustration, throwing his hands in the air, giving up his last shred of control. He cringed internally, replaying the scene of her writhing body on the floor in his mind. She paused, scrunching her face in confusion.

“What?”

“I couldn’t stand by anymore.” He hung his head, feeling the weight of his confession hanging in the air. 

“I don’t understand.” She stammered, pacing back and forth. 

“Just… please leave me alone, Granger.” He continued rubbing his temples. He just wanted to get stoned out of his mind, and forget any of this happened. 

“What? No I -” 

“I said get the fuck out.” 

She stopped, turning to give him a look he couldn’t quite place. Anger? Defeat? He didn’t know. And he didn’t want to find out. He’d said entirely too much already in his mission to corrupt her. Or was he trying to help her? Fuck. 

She turned without another word to leave. When she pulled the door closed behind her, she gave him one last lingering glance that almost made Draco change his mind. But he stayed silent, letting her close the door with a click, leaving his room empty. 

“Fuck!” He half-heartedly screamed, standing up and kicking his bed post. 

Why did she have to go and do that? They were having a perfectly good smoke session, and she had to go and ruin it with her questions. Questions that Draco didn’t want to answer. Questions that Draco couldn’t answer. 

He couldn’t tell her why. He couldn’t even admit to himself why. If he admitted it, then he would have to feel it. He would have to feel everything. And that would destroy him. 

He paced back and forth in frustration, his high completely gone now. 

Well what the fuck do I do now? He thought to himself, still pacing back and forth. There was no way he was going to sleep tonight without the inevitable nightmares. He shuddered at the thought. They had been creeping into his mind at night ever since he was forced to fix that bloody vanishing cabinet. That is why he always went to bed absolutely knackered, to avoid the demons of his mind. 

No. No he definitely could not go to bed sober. But weed obviously wasn’t working. So he only had one other option. 

Draco grabbed the unopened bottle of Firewhiskey from the bottom of his closet. He vanished the cap with his wand, not bothering to try to open the seal by hand. He laid flat on his back, head on the pillows, and drowned his consciousness with the stinging burn of the cinnamon liquor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! I just wanted to ask you guys a huge favor... If you are enjoying the story so far, please go follow my TikTok where I'll be promoting my story and some of my other favorite Dramione fanfics!  
> The username is the same as this one: graciecoco162  
> I would really appreciate a follow and would love the opportunity to interact with my readers! 
> 
> Also, please no hate in the comments. This is my first Dramione fanfiction that I have ever written, so I'm trying my best. 
> 
> It is also only my second time writing a fanfiction at all. (I was obsessed with 5sos back in 2014 haha, the writing is very cringe so I do not recommend trying to read that one) So I am still very new to writing! 
> 
> I will however accept constructive criticism from fellow fanfiction readers and writers. So if you have any (helpful) suggestions, please feel free to comment!
> 
> I have been reading Dramione fanfiction for about 6 months now, and I'm obsessed. I had this idea a few weeks ago, and really wanted to see it come to life. Thank you guys so much for the kudos, bookmarks and hits! (However few there may be). I appreciate them so much!
> 
> Happy reading :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: sleep paralysis nightmares

Hermione’s POV

Hermione stormed across the hall and back to her room with a million thoughts swarming through her mind. Her head was a fucking mess. 

Why had he saved her? She still didn’t have a clear answer. He had changed, that much was clear. He was no longer the bully of her past. He was a boy who had saved her life. But he was still scared, that hasn't changed at all. 

He had been scared that night at Malfoy Manor as she writhed on the floor in front of him. He had been scared during their sixth year of Hogwarts while dealing with an impossible task. And he was scared now. Of what, she didn’t know for sure. She knew he was scared to divulge his true intentions to her. 

But despite her frustration with Malfoy, she was intrigued. Today had been the first day in a long time that she had actually felt something. She had felt almost happy while smoking with him. The drug made her emptiness subside, if only for a moment. And she felt frustrated with him. However annoying an emotion it was, it was something. He made her feel something. 

And now she was feeling excitement. Excitement for what was to come with her new project. She was going to crack Draco Malfoy. She was going to break through that hard exterior he puts off, and unmask who he truly was. Someone capable of chopping the head off of a snake to save her life.

She huffed in exhaustion after doing her nightly routine and taking another pill. She practically collapsed into her bed after a whirlwind day. Normally she would try to fight off sleep as much as possible. But the first day of classes and a tornado of emotions, after having none for so long, had her drained. A few hours of shut eye couldn’t hurt, right?

\---

Wrong.

She opened her eyes to that oh so familiar scene that seemed to be playing on a constant loop in her head. Tormenting her like a never ending carousel. 

The twisted nightmare just kept turning in her brain like taffy, so much so that she thought she may become desensitized to it. She supposed she had. But that didn’t make it any easier. 

It had begun to escalate, however. Move a bit quicker than it had in real life. The faster it went by, the faster she woke up. Which is what Hermione was afraid of. Because it’s what happens after she wakes up, that scares her the most.

She was laying in one of the many Hogwarts corridors. Blood coating her hair like a helmet. She couldn’t move. Couldn't speak. Couldn’t do anything. But she was glad to be rid of the nonstop fighting. She was at peace. She was done. Tucked away in her quiet corridor. 

Dueling witches and wizards passed by in the distance, and she could hear the faint remnants of a scream break her ears. 

Then suddenly, she remembers.

I am Hermione Granger. And I am trapped. 

She started to panic when she heard the familiar sound of Nagini slithering toward her in the distance. Thrashing and screaming were futile. In short, she was doomed. Death was calling, and Hermione had no choice but to answer. 

“Don’t fight it” Whispered Voldemort’s slimy voice in her mind. The intrusion made her head pound in time with her rapidly growing heart beat. The snake was now only a meter away, and poised to strike. But she was seemingly awaiting instructions from her master. 

“It will be quicker than falling asleep.” 

With those words, Hermione knew what came next. And she greeted it like an old friend. 

“This is it,” she thought, “Here it comes.” 

“Yessss,” sang the voice in a haunting melody, “This is it.” 

A pause. And then- 

“Nagini… Kill.”

\---

She woke up with a gasp. Nagini’s lunging body being her last memory of the nightmare. But the nightmare wasn’t over yet. It never truly was.

Hermione was, once again, paralyzed. She couldn’t move or speak at all. 

When the phenomenon started a few days after the war ended, Hermione had no clue what was happening to her. The first time it happened, she was stuck in the paralysis state for over an hour. She wanted to end it right then and there from Voldemort’s tormenting words. She cried for three whole days after that. She told the Weasley’s she was grieving her parents and the other casualties from the war. Who were they to suspect otherwise? That was one of the very last times she had felt those kinds of emotions while awake.

Hermione would often go days without sleeping, just to avoid the traumatizing night terrors. And she hadn’t told a soul what was happening. Except for the muggle sleep expert she saw once she realized that this was not a magical problem. Hermione was too curious not to get an actual answer. After only five minutes of her appointment, he diagnosed her with hypnopompic sleep paralysis.

So she suffered in silence, like Hermione Granger was supposed to. She was the brains of the Golden Trio. She was head girl. She was the brightest witch of her age. And she couldn't afford to show any weakness. 

She laid stiff as a board, staring up at the plain ceiling of her room. Nothing made Hermione feel more helpless and terrified than being paralyzed. It was like a nightmare coming to life every single night. 

Suddenly, the hair on her arms stood up on end and goose flesh flashed across her skin. She knew what was coming next. 

“You should have died that day.” 

Voldemort’s voice invaded her mind, even outside of her dreams. This was always the worst part. 

“Shut up.” She whispered, or at least tried to. But nothing actually came out. 

“What was that, mudblood?” Voldemort continued his attack on her subconsciousness, “Oh, that’s right. You can't speak. You can’t do anything.”

Shut up.

“You’re weak.”

Fuck you. 

“Defenseless.”

Shut up. Shut up. Make it shut up. She was going to snap.

“Nothing.” 

“And you’re dead!” She internally screamed, preparing for his next attack. 

But it never came. And her scream wasn’t internal. 

“Shit.” She whispered, silently praying to the muggle God her parent’s used to believe in that she hadn’t woken up Malfoy. That was one thing she absolutely did not need right now. 

She suddenly started to regain feeling in her body. Starting in her toes, a tingling sensation worked its way up her entire body until she had complete control again. She tested her newly awakened muscles by shaking out every inch of her body, like it was a luxury she had long forgotten to appreciate. 

That never bloody gets easier. 

She turned her head to look at her alarm clock. Six in the morning. 

“Not bad.” She stated quietly, nodding her head in acknowledgement. She had slept almost five hours before the nightmare took over. She hardly ever got past four. 

Maybe she had the weed to thank for that. She stored that possibility in the back of her mind, saving it for later. 

She had an hour to kill before she needed to get ready, so she reached up to her bedside table lamp and flipped the switch to on. She then wandlessly accioed her pill bottle from inside her desk, and popped it open with ease. 

\---

The day dragged on in its normal fashion. Hermione trudged through her first few classes with practically no interest in any of the lectures. But curious enough, that’s not what bothered her. Draco had actively been avoiding her all morning. Normally, this would be a behavior from him that she invited. Something she would hope for. But now, something had changed between them. 

She found herself letting her gaze linger in his direction much longer than normal. Found her interest peaking when his name would be brought up in conversations, or she heard his voice in class. 

And yet he hadn’t even looked at her. Not once. He had purposefully sat at opposite ends of the room from her in every single class they shared. She was starting to get annoyed. 

Why? It undoubtedly had something to do with their encounter last night, but Hermione was still confused nonetheless. 

But now it was lunch time. One of the very few times she would be around all of her peers. She had a feeling they were all getting suspicious of her demeanor as of late, as they had been acting different around her. They were careful never to mention the war, or her parents, or anything even remotely close to the topic. It was as if they were trying to pretend it never happened. It didn’t sit right with her, but she didn’t have the energy to say anything about it. 

So she put on her mask of normalcy, and stalked towards the Great Hall. 

She walked through the massive doorway, still basking in it’s glory after all these years, and made her way towards the familiar Gryffindor table. 

She looked to each of the isolated tables, deep in thought as she walked. She had never thought much of the idea before, but lately the idea of Hogwarts houses had really been nagging at her. A sense of division was practically forced upon the students upon arrival to the castle all those years ago. 

What if there were no houses? What if her and her friends had never been sorted into Gryffindor? What if Draco had never been a Slytherin? Would Harry and Draco still have created their infamous rivalry? 

Probably. 

Even without the house division, Draco had still had his pureblood ideals instilled in him. But Hermione couldn’t help but wonder if the division between all of the students wouldn’t be as severe if it weren't for their house rivalries. If her hatred for Draco wouldn’t be as severe. 

She found her way to the Gryffindor table with an inviting wave from Ginny to sit next to her. Only one problem. Ron was sitting just across the table. She knew she would have to face him eventually, but she was hoping it wouldn’t be so soon. He was her best friend, but things were in a weird place between them right now. It was literally just last night that she was trying to… Seduce him? Ask him out? Ugh even she didn’t know. 

Despite her reluctance, Hermione sat down next to Ginny, with Ron diagonal from her across the table. 

“Hey Mione!” Chirped Ginny, face lighting up when she sat, “I feel like I haven’t seen you at all since classes started! How have you been?”

“Fine, thank you.” 

Liar.

Hermione gave her a sheepish smile, hoping she didn’t call her bluff. Ginny’s gaze lingered on Hermione for a moment, questioningly. Hermione held her breath. But seemingly giving in, Ginny nodded and continued eating her sandwich. 

But Ron wasn’t buying it. She chanced a brief glance in his direction, and he was staring directly at her, shooting daggers across the table. She quickly looked away, trying to look busy picking out her lunch of choice. 

“Hey guys!” 

Saved by the Neville. 

Neville came practically skipping up to the seat next to Hermione. To see such happiness from someone who had experienced the same war that she had, was almost foreign to Hermione. They all murmured back their replies of greetings and continued eating while Neville took his seat.

“It’s only day two of classes and I’ve been proper itching for something to do,” started Neville, “I’m bored out of my mind! Is it just me or is Hogwarts boring this year?” 

“How is it that you’ve got time to be bored?” asked Ron, the conversation peaking his interest, “I’ve already got homework to last me three weeks!” He slammed his fork on the table in frustration and they all chuckled at his comment. 

Except Hermione. 

“Some of us don’t take hours on a bloody divination assignment Ron.” Ginny drowled, mouth still full of food. 

More laughter. 

“Shove off it Gin.” Ron rolled his eyes, going back to shoving his face with sausage. 

“No but I’m being serious,” continued Neville, “It’s like, everyday used to be so exciting. Now it’s just… boring.” 

“I guess when you don’t have a dark wizard trying to kill you things can get a bit dull.” 

Dead silence. Hermione hadn’t meant for it to come out like that. Well… perhaps she had. When all she felt was empty inside, she was bound to say a few insensitive things. 

And then, the silence was gone. Was that… a snort?

Hermione looked over to see Ginny practically choking on her food she was laughing so hard. 

Then Neville joined in - chuckling, shoulders bouncing up and down and his hands on his stomach as if he was laughing so much it hurt. 

And then it was Ron’s turn. His lips upturned and his eyes crinkled like they always did when he laughed. It was a sight she hadn’t seen in far too long. 

Finally Hermione let herself crack a smile and a small hum of laughter to join them. 

The group of Gryffindor’s laughed for a few more moments until there was silence. It was like a storm had blown through and then subsequently vanished. Leaving everything in its wake completely silent. 

“There she is.” Said Ginny, smiling timidly. “I was wondering when you’d go back to your old self.” 

And then the moment of enjoyment was over. 

“What?” Hermione retorted, with a little more attitude behind it than she had intended. 

Or not. 

She shifted in her seat to face Ginny head on and glare directly at her. 

Ginny looked taken aback, like what she had said was simply innocent. And perhaps it was. But Hermione didn’t see it that way. 

“Mione I just meant…” she paused, “You’ve been a bit different lately.”

“And?” She crossed her arms over her chest defensively, “We went through a bloody war and you expect me to be all better like the lot of you?” She waved her hand towards the three of them in reference. 

“No! Merlin, that’s not what I meant -”

“What DID you mean Ginny?” She was standing now. And slightly yelling.

“Mione calm down -” Ron tried to grab her arm to pull her back down. 

“Don’t start Ron.” She huffed, yanking her arm from his grip. 

“Please Hermione, we all just want you to get better!” Tried Neville, looking up at her sadly. 

And that was the last straw.

“Better? You want me to get… you want me to get better?” She almost laughed. If only they knew just how much she longed to be better. To be normal. But it wasn’t that simple. 

Why couldn’t they see that? Why couldn’t they be there for her in a helpful way, instead of a condescending way? Ron was the only one who had been upfront with her since the war ended, and that was just last night. 

They were all silent as they looked up at her, confusion mixed with fear freckled their faces. They were waiting for her to explode. Waiting for the next bomb to drop. 

Well maybe she’d give them what they want. She could feel it bubbling up inside her like a potion in a hot cauldron. And maybe she was overreacting. But… 

Fuck it.

If she was going to feel something today… let it be anger. 

“I’m not some project for you to fix! Trauma can’t be fixed with magic overnight if you haven’t noticed! You… You..” She searched for words and paused to look around the Great Hall. People were visibly staring at her. 

Correction. 

Everyone was staring at her. 

And she couldn’t help but do a double take when her eyes lingered over a pop of platinum hair and dark silver eyes staring right back at her. They held the gaze for a moment, before Hermione resumed her attack. 

“I didn’t see it before, but I do now.” She turned back to face the three solemn Gryffindors, “Everytime you look at me, you see a broken toy. Somebody that you used to know. Somebody that you want to fix. And I can’t feel like that right now. On top of everything else… I can’t do it. I can’t be around you right now.” 

Their eyes went big and apologetic as they all went to speak. But without giving them a chance to reply - and without giving herself a chance to change her mind - Hermione spit out an “I’m sorry” and left them staring at her quickly disappearing back. 

She took off at a brisk walk towards the grand doorway, not glancing back to her friends. Not even when she heard them yelling her name. 

But she did allow herself to glance in the other direction, catching a glimpse of Draco Malfoy, watching her walk away.


End file.
